I would rather be alone, than pretend I feel alright.

 Ready to Start, from the Suburbs

I still remember the night my brother and I were having drinks and listening to music and he put on the Arcade Fire. He said .. "oh man, you don't know the Arcade fire?! They are soo good. I will let you copy my albums, Neon Bible is good, but Funeral is the best." You see, my brother is always very down with what music is coming out. It's so hard these days to find good music. The radio stations in America are filled with total crap. I feel like you have to dig for the good stuff these days, but it is surely there. And my brother probably knows about cool bands ages before the rest of us catch on. We were living together in NYC at the time. I moved there first from North Dakota to start modeling. He is older than me and had just graduated college with a degree in finance. That was about 3 months after I moved there. He called me up one day and said, "Tenley, can you look for a 2 bedroom apartment instead? I want to move to NYC too." It only made sense I guess with a finance degree, Wall Street. So I found a two bedroom and we moved in together. He, very quickly realized he wasn't the type for the finance world. The money was good, but the ways and means of getting that money, not so much. So he found another job. He wasn't making a lot of money at the time. Neither of us were really. It was an interesting time in both of our lives to be sure. No health insurance, a semi-shitty apartment. I literally had a mattress laying on the floor and a 10 dollar Ikea night stand in my room and that was it.  But this new exciting city was at our finger tips. Our parents would ask sometimes if maybe we wanted to come back and get regular jobs and stop struggling; maybe my brother should work on the oil rigs in ND. They were supportive, but I have a feeling they were worried sometimes. To us, it felt so good to be out of the safe, insulated environment of North Dakota. Our eyes were opened, and there was no looking back. My brother still lives in NYC, he's moved up in his job, and has now been to India and soon with be going to Berlin. Now, me on the other hand, I can't seem to stop moving. The world is too big of a place and I need to explore. I love nothing better than that feeling that I had when I first moved in New York City. The electricity of stepping out into a new place to explore. I think it's vital that people see what else is out there and how other people live. And I am thankful every day that my life took this turn. I know that it is totally crazy that I grew up in North Dakota and I have been given these opportunities, and I'm glad I didn't shy away. So even though my brother and I are past the days of our apartment in NYC, The Arcade Fire will always remind me of him and that night he opened my eyes(ears?) to their music.

The new album, The Suburbs is so brilliant. I encourage anyone who hasn't to go out and get it. And if you don't have their other albums, get those too ... great songs, amazing amazing lyrics. Here are some of my favorites.

Wake up, from Funeral 

(this is a special treat, with Bowie)

Windowsill, Neon Bible

T

xx